While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
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both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
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I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime