i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
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