I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
21 Porn Stars Confess What Sex Is Really Like On Set
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
19 People That Found Pubes In All The Wrong Places
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.