Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
19 Cringe-worthy Bachelorette Party Texts
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
The 23 Worst Things That Have Happened After a One Night Stand
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.