Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
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