Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
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she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
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The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
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