I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
