Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Randomize