He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
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