The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
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