you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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