my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
Randomize
