she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Randomize