idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
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