im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize
