So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Randomize
