Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
