We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize