I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
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