Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Randomize
