It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
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