help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
Randomize
