If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Randomize
