sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
