I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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