I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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