As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
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