well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Randomize
