he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
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