Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Randomize
