Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
Randomize
