her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
Randomize