I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Randomize
