Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
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