at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
Randomize
