so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
Randomize
