I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
Randomize
