North Korea, Best Korea!
dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
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