just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize
