the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
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