Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
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