you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
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