morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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