Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
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