he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
