Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
Randomize
