He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize
