I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
Randomize
