once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
Are my feet made of real feet?
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Randomize
