So drunk, too bad you don't want this
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize