how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
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