this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
Randomize
