dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
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