They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
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