I'm gonna have a badass scar
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
Randomize
