...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
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