i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
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