i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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