these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
