I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
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