You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
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