I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
