it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Randomize
